How To Handle Unacceptable Behavior

Unacceptable behaviour is quite common in growing children, as it is one of the most common ways through which they express their emotions. Most toddlers and preschoolers show varied signs of unacceptable behaviour such as impatience to wait for their turn, rushing into activities, getting angry easily etc. Such behaviour normally occurs during situations wherein children are hungry, bored, feel lonely & ignored or when they do not get the attention they seek.

However, such behaviour should not be allowed to become a part of their personality because unacceptable actions, if not controlled at an early age, can have adverse effects on their own lives as well as affect their relationships with their loved ones. Moreover, children who do not have control over their unacceptable reactions may find it difficult to adjust to the social set-up in which they live, grow and become a part of. Such children are often cornered and disliked by other children of their age and even by adults because through unacceptable reactions, children cause harm not only to themselves but also to the people around them, physically and psychologically.

Here are some remedial measures & techniques that you can adopt at home, through which you as a parent can control your child’s unacceptable behaviour.

Maintain a loving and understanding atmosphere at home wherein every family member shows respect towards each other. Be very careful with your behaviour towards others in the family in your child’s presence, as she may often pick up and imitate your actions.
Unacceptable behaviour may sometimes occur because your child may not be getting the much-required parental attention. So, respond to your child promptly whenever she comes up to you to say something. Your attention, combined with love, will be helpful in keeping your child on the right track and also in reducing her tendency to show unacceptable behaviour.
Speak to your child to get a clear picture of what she feels whenever she shows unacceptable reactions such as getting angry instantly, screaming, crying, feeling frustrated etc. In a polite way, ask her why she acts that way and let her express what all is in her mind. This way, you will be able to find out the problem areas and situations that make her show unacceptable reactions.
Make your child realise that unacceptable reactions such as throwing or breaking her toys, screaming when angry, will not make her feel good later on, though it may give temporarily relief to her during the particular situation. Further, explain to her that such behaviour will create a bad impression about her, in the minds of others.
Do not explain the bad effects of unacceptable behaviour through prolonged lectures. Whenever your child shows unacceptable reactions, try not to respond in anger, as keeping pace with such behaviour will become difficult for you if you also reply angrily. Instead, approach your child with a positive mind & attitude and focus on the remedial ways to control your child’s unacceptable behaviour.
Monitor your child’s activities, behaviour and mood swings on any day, to know how she behaves in different circumstances. For this, you need to keep a track of her activities in the daily routine, such as studying, playing with her friends, watching television, dining with the family etc. and check how she reacts to different situations.
Observe your child’s television viewing time and take a note of her favourite shows on TV. Even if it is a cartoon show, make sure that your child is not exposed to unacceptable acts of violence on television, as she may get influenced easily & may even imitate such undesirable actions in real life circumstances.
Indulge your child in healthy and productive activities such as drawing, reading story books, making crafts etc. Productive activities will keep your child’s mind occupied and will also channelise her energy towards something progressive.
Above all, have reasonable expectations from your child, keeping in mind her age & level of development because it is normal for small children to react on impulse, as they do not have the cognitive ability to have control over their responses.

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